Confessions of a (semi) recovering people pleaser

My business has been around for over 4 years. And, it’s different from when I started. But doesn’t that happen to all of us?

Here’s what I mean.

When I decided to become a CEO and take my Mother Nudger skills to the masses (maybe I should get that trademarked?), I was so excited to get clients. I knew that I could impact so many small business owners with their struggles. I love tech, and I enjoy getting into the platforms and digging around to make things happen. Lots of people struggle here, and I could help! Why wouldn’t I do that??

So, when clients said ‘Can you….???’, my answer was ‘YES!’

They didn’t even finish their sentences and I was READY for it. I’ll do the work and figure it out!

Anyone have an idea of what that might be called? Anyone? Bueller?

I’ll wait while you consider

Ok, here’s the answer. People Pleasing.

Yep, good old fashioned People Pleasing. Turns out, People Pleasing runs in my family. 

I was SO excited to create business my way that I felt compelled to be a jill-of-all-trades, be good at everything and say the word YES. I knew that I could figure it out (and, spoiler alert, I could and I tried my best). I knew that I would add value to my clients’ lives and businesses (see previous spoiler alert).

But what I didn’t want to admit is that some of the work I was doing wasn’t using MY gifts the way that they flow best. There were some tasks that were energy drainers. The things that I loved to do, and the things I was really good at didn’t always line up with the work I agreed to do for clients.

Anyone else with me? (I’m looking for your raised hands people, I know it’s not just me.)

So, we pivot, right? [DRINK] We adjust. Communicate more clearly with clients on what will really be the best use of my time and their time.

Because not everyone can be good at everything.

Small business owners might not want to admit that, but it’s true. Think of how you spend your time, and tell me if you are really meant to be doing all the things you are doing. What could you outsource? Where can you get some relief?

I’ve stopped trying to please with my ‘yes’ and embraced my ‘no’ when I need to. Especially on dating apps, but that’s a conversation for another time.

And, the things that I’m good at and really love - making connections, finding ideal audiences for people to share their gifts and messages, making sure clients get visible, finding the fortune in the follow ups, coordinating events and engaging various communities - well, those are things that others struggle with.

So if you read that and thought, man, those things are NOT my jam, you’re in good company. They aren’t many people’s jam, and the things that you are crushing may not be for me. It all goes around.

What’s the remedy for this?

Outsourcing. Get the help (yes business owner, you CAN ask for help), find the experts and lean on the pros that do what you do not want to do.

So, you must be dying to know - Am I really a recovering People Pleaser? 

Do any of us ever recover? We just change the way we please, and we include ourselves in that equation. Which makes it all worthwhile, right?

Still pleasing after all these years,

Susie

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